By Jade's Desire
After two weeks, you all should be well on your way to learning what the other person likes, want to try, is open to testing, and wants to experience. So, let's try the new things that we have learned from each other! It can be as simple as a spanking, as I mentioned before, or it could be a variation of positions—there are so many out there
Keep going with your communication, don't let it stop because you have made a little progress. You have to keep going. It's like taking medication; just because you feel better doesn't mean you stop taking medicine your doctor prescribed.
Sex with food is so much fun, and I mean literally, sex with food. Get your Ghost on. You know which scene I mean, where Demi was sitting between Patrick's legs, and they were sculpting clay? Even better, do the scene from 9½ Weeks. Oh, that movie! Pick a scene—they all were hot, steamy, and so damn SEXY.
Now that we've learned to openly communicate . . . LET'S PLAY!!!
Think about a position. Something easy, something simple. Keep in mind that baby steps are needed; don't jump into the deep in because you think it's okay. Trust me, someone will be uncomfortable.
If you do something different, the first thing you need to establish is a safe word. They are an ABSOLUTE MUST.
Safe words are so very important and necessary when it comes to trying something new and different. Most people think safe words are just for KINK and BDSM, but they are not. When you are trying something new and different, it could be a little uncomfortable at the beginning, and yes, you can get in your head while you are getting head, LOL.
Toys are a great addition to the bedroom, but for some people, they can get very intimidating and be a complete turn-off for them. Why? Because the mistake most often made is using a toy as a replacement instead of an enhancement.
As I mentioned at the end of my last article, the best toy for beginners is a wireless vibrator; it is a pleasure for both of you. It gives you both a sense of control sexually, especially if they're not quite open to playing with toys. It will ease them into toy play, allow them to see that a toy can be a pleasure for you both.
A wireless vibrator gives your significant other the control of a sexual mind game—at any given moment, they may turn it on high speed and have you on the floor curled up in pleasure. You could be out to dinner or at the store when they hit the button just to see you orgasm out in public.
That is the fun thing about the wireless vibrator . . . it can not only bring you to your toes, but it can also bring you closer together and open the door to more toys.
Vibrators are great starter toys to introduce to the bedroom. Let your partner control the strings literally; let them see how turned on you get; play with yourself while they play with you with the vibrator.
Since you are now professionals with the wireless vibrator, your next beginner's toy is the dildo. And when I say beginners, I mean beginners. I'm not talking about the BIG HAMMER or MANDINGO. I'm talking about a simple vibrator that has only one or two speeds on it so that your partner is not intimidated and won't jump out of bed due to being blinded by the size of that thing, LOL.
Like wireless vibrators, dildos are extremely fun to play with as long as you communicate likes and dislikes with your partner; non-communication is the biggest factor that I need to express when learning and trying new things.
Dildos are like little penis friends that we can carry around with us. Keeping your B.O.B (Battery Operated Boyfriend) in the drawer next to the bed is good since you definitely don't want the wrong person to find it, but why hide it from your spouse? Let them join in on the fun with you. Let them see the pleasure it brings you and remind them that it is not taking away from what they bring you sexually—it's adding to it. Think of it like adding ketchup to McDonald's fries: you don't need it, but it adds a little more flavor.
The best beginner's dildo has a silicone touch to it, so it feels real. That is the most important thing: the look and touch of it, the size, the girth, and the tip (also called the Mushroom Cap). Ensuring that all of those are met, you want to ensure that it is the average size of a penis. Like I said before, don't go bringing out the big guns or game over.
Remember your training from the 30-Day Challenge: communicate with your spouse and let them know if you (or they) are feeling unsure about the new sexual journey you are on.
If you are enjoying the first steps of your newfound sexual exploration, keep it up! Just remember your training.
Sex is an amazing part of this journey called life, especially when it is done with someone you enjoy sharing new experiences with and can laugh with as you fumble and bumble.
During the 30-Day Challenge, you learn to describe every ounce of detail. When you describe things, your partner should close their eyes and envision what you are describing. Use your imagination to enhance that sexual nerve stimulation, be very descriptive, and make sure every single description is so detailed that they think you are holding their penis—or whatever you have in your hand.
In return, your spouse should be able to use their imagination to describe in detail so vivid, so life-like, that neither of you would be able to tell if it is Fantasy or Reality.
At this stage of the 30-Day Challenge, your communication should be clearer and more precise, a little smoother. Remember, if you are open to the challenge, it will work, but don't worry; there is definitely another follow-up to come!
Â
Â